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  • authored by press
  • published Wed, Jul 13, 2005

Poet's Corner: Keele St. & Wilson Ave.

Once again, I laugh like a maniac because I found this spoof page about the Keele St. Mondo Condo...

The Untrue North

I am blatantly going to rip off the idea and propose a 'song of the week' thread type challenge.

This time though, MFD members get to write the words. A poem loosely based on the corner of Keele/Wilson. Throw in CCWIPP, Joe, councillors, Burger King, Swiss Chalet, whatever crap makes you laugh. As short or as long as you want... we'll one day get them published as the corner gets more and more famous.

I'll begin...

Satan's Garage (Ode to Joe)

The sky is falling
The sky is falling
Rocks in my head
Cement on my shoes
This is my home

  • posted by press
  • Wed, Jul 13, 2005 3:34pm

The New Road

In prison
Bought the councillors
Still in prison

A tunnel to Wilson Ave!!
Yes, Maria
A tunnel to Wilson Ave!!

Freedom

  • posted by press
  • Wed, Jul 13, 2005 8:05pm

I'll enjoy this until I get bored...

The Pre-Party

Cliff
Dear, dear Cliff
Inhale
Inhale deeply
It's a 'special' spliff

Satan's gift to you
For your deeds
Very well done
A preview
Of what is
To come

With scotch
It goes well
Drag deep
And once again
Let your mind focus
On imminent hell

Let the paranoia begin
The dreadful thoughts
Flow in
Enjoy, enjoy
It's your mind
It's your party
And the lunatic is now
On the grass

Lonely is this final trip
The captain aboard
An abandoned ship
Leaking from all sides
It is no use
Under water
Is under pressure

It's in your mind
This isn't real
Or is it?
Inhale my friend
Inhale

  • posted by siggy
  • Wed, Jul 13, 2005 8:38pm

How about a third line poetry challenge?

If you've not been to the mondo of condos
Nor felt the pebbles of Keele on your toes

-----------------------------------------------?
As have the Chretians, Gawdcliffs and Joes

  • posted by press
  • Thu, Jul 14, 2005 1:32pm

Best I could do...

If you've not been to the mondo of condos
Nor felt the pebbles of Keele on your toes
Cry aloud for Father Ron's blessing
As have the Chretians, Gawdcliffs and Joes

  • posted by press
  • Mon, Jul 18, 2005 7:24pm

A shout out to our union leader homies in BC. We gots no beefs out here. None of that rye-varee shit. We all about the same thing…

Ghag Me, You Ho

2,548 bottles of beer in the hall
2,548 bottles of beer
Take even one bottle back to the store
and I gonna kill ya mutha-f%#*er
That's my beer!

F%#K!!

Now I lost my f%#*in' count

Stupid rhyme anyway

A shit-load bottles of beer in the hall
A shit-load bottles of beer
chug a two-4 down with my ho
and f%#k the f%#kin' math
I just gonna pop some blue pills
and it don't matter
U want some honey?

You ho.

  • posted by siggy
  • Mon, Jul 18, 2005 8:59pm

  • posted by press
  • Tue, Jul 19, 2005 10:11am

Wonka See My Willy?

I live in a castle
And have 5 bucks to spare
Along with an urge
Please tell me you care

Wonka See My Willy?

Boys call me dad
Father or Ronny
But it doesn't matter
Does it little Johnny?

Wonka See My Willy?

Those newspaper men
They tell an old tale
I've gone straight I tell ‘em
Bought hotels on sale!

Personally, I think they just…

Wonka See My Willy

…5 bucks in it for ya

  • posted by siggy
  • Tue, Jul 19, 2005 10:36am



Shakes 'n spears

Ay, that incestuous, that adulterate beast,
With craft of twit, with traderous gifts,--
O wicked twit, and gifts that have the power
So to seduce!--won to his shameful greed
The will of thine most seeming-barren dupe

  • posted by press
  • Wed, Jul 20, 2005 11:03pm



Wow, you went high-end poetry, siggy.

I'll counter with a haiku. 5-7-5 style...

money invested
you win and you win again
you are the thief yes

  • posted by siggy
  • Thu, Jul 21, 2005 10:59am

Mondo
Fusty, Old
Dank, Crumbling, Seedy
Sleazy, Leaky, Clandestine, Feeder,
Titanic, Evil, Infested,
Shabby, Gone
Condo

  • posted by peace_out
  • Thu, Jul 21, 2005 12:22pm

brother can you spare me a dime
brother can you spare me a dime

i have many mouths to feed
and many bills are unpaid
no excuses that i say
as i see my future fade

i see no relief
ive paid my dues
i line your pockets
yet you still refuse...

to throw a bone...
to acknowledge my woes....
the monkey on my back
of the way life goes...

brother can you spare me a dime

  • posted by peace_out
  • Thu, Jul 21, 2005 12:37pm

im young but im broken
im free but im chained
im busting my can
yet im always poor

im solid yet you break me
im golden but im only brass
im working only 16 hours a day
and wonder whats its for

i got one hand on my pocket
and the other on my paycheck

im sane but quite insane
im tired but i keep on going
3 jobs to keep me at even keel
yet they keep on taking more

im strong but im feeling weak
im brave but want to run
into the abyss of never looking back
yet land back where ive been before

i got one hand on my pocket
and the other on my aching neck...

  • posted by peace_out
  • Thu, Jul 21, 2005 12:45pm

in a town
where i was born
lived the union
in which we wore

just to keep
the ranks in line
outstanding dues
must pay a fine

oh we all live below a yellow labour reign
yellow labour reign
yellow labour reign

so we woke
to go to work
to earn us less
as they lurk

its the way
its gonna be
if you want to work
in this city

ohhh we all live below a yellow labour reign
yellow labour reign
yellow labour reign

so they hid
the monies well
homes, cars and cash
vacations and a cell

we paid their way
for a good life
WHILE THEY DONT CARE
ABOUT OUR STRIFE!!!!

we all live below a yellow labour reign
a yellow labour reign
a yellow labour reign

  • posted by peace_out
  • Thu, Jul 21, 2005 1:14pm

there once was a girl named Kay
who worked hard 16 hours a day
one day she fell
the union said oh well
now she lives on cardboard under Main Way

there once was a guy named Dave
who the union thought didnt behave
so they rallied against him
and sent him to the rim
and pushed him to be a 7-11 slave

there once was a bloke named Bill
as president he couldnt get his fill
said this i cant weave
and took a stress leave
and collects a full paycheque still

a secretary treasurer, shelly is her name
the unions failure is everyone else to blame
stabbed the president in the back
the VP she did attack
as she soaks in her new found fame

  • posted by peace_out
  • Thu, Jul 21, 2005 1:28pm

whatcha you gonna do tonite sweet mama
are you gonna work another shift
washing dirty floor for minimum wages
with that ammonia for 9 hours you whiff

make sure you polish all the woodwork
dont you dare touch that high priced bar
cleaning for those who fight for freedom
as you see them leave in their new shiny car

youre invisible to their healthy clear eyes
as your younger body toils with much pain
they throw you crumbs only once in a while
as they pat themselves on the back once again

when you gonna choose
when you got nothing to lose
and you walked a mile in my shoes
you still have to pay your dues
you have to still pay your dues

  • posted by peace_out
  • Thu, Jul 21, 2005 1:44pm

there once was a officer named bill
who had a urge that he couldnt will
his mind it was weak
the officers he couldnt tweak
yet the union stands up for him still

so bill had a good mind
to speak to those who were inclined
he filed against those
who he sat real close
and we await to see what they'll find

now bill he wasnt dumb
thought he had the officers under his thumb
but they had a surprise
they began his demise
at the expense of the unions sum

whisperings in corner number one
shelly thought this is gonna be fun
she called up the fed
i want this man dead
and disappears to a marathon in boston

  • posted by press
  • Thu, Jul 21, 2005 1:56pm

i_on_unitehere, now I'm confused! Is this all you?? If so... wow.

My follow-up (I'm so self-conscious now!), an epitath...

Mondo Condo
1975-2005


Here does the Mondo Condo lie
Rotting on Keele, a sore to the eye
No proper burial
They tried to convert
Fuckers are gonna get
Their just desserts

  • posted by peace_out
  • Thu, Jul 21, 2005 2:08pm

we are the reformers my friend
pay your dues or you'll suspend
we promise broken lies again
we will keep fighting and then

we'll run the union into the ground
we'll spend the monies we have found
we have glories all abound
hear us roar alllll around

listen and shut up while we speak
this work is not for the weak
theres a target on my back we seek
again those trying to ruin, information they leak

cant you see why we're paid the way we are
i need a house, a vacation, a shiny bmw car
and on my tab put food and booze from the bar
and nothing but the best when i stay afar

cant you understand my expenditure ways
over 4 thousand dollars in just 28 days
and your dues are paid in how many days?
and we'll put the u back in union with no delays

you pay for my healthcare, dental, and union dues
yes, current officers gave a free lifetime deal to use
my 150,000.00 salary, my perks, how could i refuse
just trying walking a mile in my handcrafted italian shoes

  • posted by JTLC
  • Thu, Jul 21, 2005 2:44pm

The union once said a man is not dead if he has the bread to pay dues,
That he is living is something forgiven considering he cannot refuse.
"Union or die!" or so they will cry while drinking their rye and their gin,
"Bigger is better," written in bold letters, the sign that says "Unite to win."
"There is strength in density," this labour propensity lends to me something to chew,
After digestion did I find the question, "Is this but less then what is true?"
In answer I found that unions have drowned not because of their floundering numbers,
But because their morale has been put to corral by those who shall remain bunglers.
Oh labour leadership, please will you hear this quip: you dip too deep into the pot.
Extravagant dinners with all the right winners; you are sinners who ought to be shot.

  • posted by siggy
  • Fri, Jul 22, 2005 8:01am

That's a lot of pain and it's all union. Go figure.

  • posted by press
  • Fri, Jul 22, 2005 10:55pm

Jesu Christophe!

Gotta get out of Canada
Packing my bags for Panama

"Bernie es mi nombre
And Ron es mi hombre"

"Bernie es mi nombre
And Ron es mi hombre"

They quoted me
Out of context it was taken
I'm only a sieve
With a handle that Ron's been shakin'

...um, I didn't mean... ah, shit.

"Bernie es mi nombre
And Ron es mi hombre"

"Bernie es mi nombre
And Ron es mi hombre"

OK, so the plan is that the
Father takes me in
Gonna hang out at his castle
While we wait for Cliff's
trial to begin

...um, I mean Cliffie... no, don't take
it like that. You the man! You're the
"pension authority"! I got your back,
buddy! It's me... Ol' Bernie, your pal!

"Bernie es mi nombre
And Ron es mi hombre"

"Bernie es mi nombre
And Ron es mi hombre"

  • posted by press
  • Tue, Jul 26, 2005 4:50pm

Under Review

FSCO our name
Reviewing pensions our game

Rather simple to play
Log on to the net
Read postings all day

Sip coffee and tea
MFD does all our work for free
They'll never figure it out
Slap on an 'under review'
Let them post and shout

While we sit back
Collect our cash
Taxpayer funded
A bonus from Cliff's stash

Don't get cheap on us now Cliff

Oh dammit to hell
The MFD assault is going too well
We're pros at stalling
But the media and members
Just keep calling and calling

Even with poems
Non-stop they attack
It's every man for himself
$#%@ you!
Watch your own back!

What oh what should we do
Find the job-description
Let's look for a clue!

'Drink your coffee and tea
With only one care
A guy named Finnamore
From him beware'


Hmm...

  • posted by peace_out
  • Tue, Jul 26, 2005 5:20pm

dont know much about the politic things
dont know much about the caucus rings
but i know there are many who lose
and i know that i always pay my dues

what a wonderful world it could be

pick up plates and bring another drink
and ive been told not to ask or think
dont care what i say or what i believe in
and if asked i would never do it again

what a wonderful world it would be

  • posted by peace_out
  • Tue, Jul 26, 2005 9:52pm

press, i hope i am not intruding...and apologize if i was. sorry i hadnt seen your post while i was in my writing frenzy...

to all mfd -- this is one crazy site that tells like it is...and for once...how refreshing.

press - i enjoy your poems and they move me-

so brother or sister press
right on
write on.

gone at dawn to downtown
to get clocked in by five am
he toils through his breaks and lunch
so to leave this place early and then...

head out to job number two
he's only half way there as he
watches as others hurry home
wishing one day it would be he

hes got the working man blues
and makes less than a hundred a day
hes got the working man blues
earning pennies for bills he got to pay

  • posted by press
  • Tue, Jul 26, 2005 11:22pm

quote:


posted by i_on_unitehere:
press, i hope i am not intruding...and apologize if i was. sorry i hadnt seen your post while i was in my writing frenzy...

to all mfd -- this is one crazy site that tells like it is...and for once...how refreshing.


Intrusion is the point! You were just so quick, I figured they might not be all yours. I'm hoping to hear more MFD rhymes from the shy MFDers. There's an hour and a half of poetry reading scheduled for the FSCO tour! Someone has to fill it. So... don't stop. You're part of the 'refreshing'.

One Crazy Site

One crazy site
Says member i_on_unite
I did cut that name
But it's allowed in this game!

No matter how cheezy
Just rhyme away
Hit the 'add reply' button
Brighten someone's day

It's radical and refreshing
A way to vent
Tell off assholes
It don't cost you a cent

So to all MFDers
Give it a try
Join the Poet's Corner
Make someone
Yell, laugh or cry

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